Sometimes I am astounded by the level of patience that it takes to do my job. I am an educator and bold enough to call myself a beacon of light to some and humble enough to admit that I am a mere distraction to others. I face many challenges in my week from both students and faculty, but every once in a while I can look past my ego and reach an epiphany. It is these times when I realize that young people today are challenged with issues that would rival Job’s. The earthquakes that plague their lives come with aftershocks that would rattle the foundation of the average individual. For example, this past week one of my best students was placed in foster care because of sexual abuse. Yet in the midst of this upheaval she still remains as pleasant and resilient as ever. Unfortunately, she does not represent all of my students. Some drop out of school for seemingly lesser problems on the surface but may face issues just as severe.
My friends and associates often tell me that my profession is admirable and that they could never amass the level of patience that is needed do what I do. My reply to them is if you think I’m patient, you should meet some of my students. I have also been told by many who know me that this profession is the perfect fit because I have always possessed (allegedly) the required resolve needed to fill the task of being a teacher. I guess that makes me a virtuous man because after all patience is a virtue right? Sometimes I’m not so sure.
With this in mind, I decided to consult my dictionary on this enigma called patience. What is it about it that makes it so (pardon the expression) damned virtuous. I decided first to look up the word virtue. I found that virtue is defined as ‘moral excellence, goodness or righteousness’ I then looked up patience and found it defined as ‘ the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
I must admit these definitions made me feel a little uncomfortable. Although I’d like to think that I aspire to be patient, I don’t think that it comes with such virtuous aspirations. In fact, in many cases the patience that I exhibit comes from apathy as a means of self preservation. I would even venture to say that many of us in our work lives possess similar safety mechanisms to keep from going over the edge. (If you have any doubts about this think about the next time you are having a drink after work and venting about the job or the next time you find yourself counting the days until your next vacation).
The question that still remains is how do we reach the virtuous part of our patience? Does it even exist? I’m not sure if I will ever find the answer to this question but I came closer recently while playing my guitar. I decided after 10 years of procrastination and fear to try my hand at learning two of my favorite Jimi Hendrix tunes: “Axis: Bold as Love” and “Little Wing”. Anyone who is a guitar player and appreciates Jimi’s music would probably say that the very thought of learning these songs could be quite overwhelming. I can’t really say what it was that motivated me to venture on this path of “hammer ons”, B minor 9ths and intricate embellishments. They always intimidated me in the past. The only thing that I can say is that from somewhere inside of me the patience materialized. It came without self judgment or regret of past attempts. I just took a deep breath and allowed myself to learn each song as if I was learning them for the first time had all the time in the world to do so. In essence, it came from a genuine love of the music and an overwhelming desire to do more than just listen, to become an active part of it.
I went to work the next day with an extra pep in my step. When my students and colleagues asked me how my weekend was, I smiled and told them it was time well spent. And occasionally when I came across a student who decided that he wanted to disrupt my class by talking out of turn, coming in late, or asking to go the bathroom in the middle of my lesson, my patience was transformed from an act of survival to an act of love. I think in those moments I discovered patience as a virtue. I realized that what I had done was revolutionary at least as far as my little world was concerned. All it took was for me to first be patient with myself use it toward something I loved in order to find patience for the rest of the world. As I think back to this time I am wondering if I should learn to play chess or learn another language or take up jigsaw puzzles as a hobby. Would these things make me more able to handle a room full of high school freshman? Could activities like this help republicans and democrats govern better? Could kicking a soccer ball help the Israelis and Palestinians stop fighting in Gaza? Could playing ping pong end the war in Afghanistan? How much does Barack Obama love shooting hoops? And if he is shooting the rock right now is he working on some shot that he never had the time or patience to work on in the past after a busy day in the oval office as a means to unwind? I wonder what would happen on his next day at work if he finally hit that shot.
