'nuthin tragic...just news

If there is an art to being a grown up, I still have yet to master it. About 4 months ago when Devasha and I were finally closing on our new home it seemed as if our moment of Zen was approaching, but then the bills came and the promise of future bills followed. It was as if the issues that come with adulthood tapped us on our shoulders and with a wink and a smile informed us that the fun was just beginning. The good news is that nothing tragic has happened (knock on wood). Now don’t get me wrong. I am in no way wishing for tragic events to unfold. I am only acknowledging the fact that with the issues that come with home ownership one must always be mindful that stress is what comes with trying to make house a home. Anguish is what comes when that mission fails. There is something surreal about getting an astronomical bill for something that you have never had to pay for like water. The good news is that I now have a greater appreciation for water. My friend Sol put it best: “This stuff is just news…if it ain’t tragic news, it’s just news” even if it means I have to pay a high ass water bill, it’s just news; even if it means that because of said water bill I can’t buy the treadmill and the new snowboard equipment I wanted, it’s just news. . He also reminded me that sometimes even the most beautiful news can come with its own brand of stress. Hint: It’s the kind of news that can make a person both excited and terrified at the same time and takes 9 months to arrive (ok I will now pause for applause). Lucky for me all I have to do is to be stressed. The other stuff is all on Devasha (bless her heart). Maybe she can write her own blog on that subject. I’m sure she would do a much better job than I could ever hope to.

The last time I embarked on this journey to fatherhood my stress was from a more selfish place. I wondered how I could handle all of the challenges of being a father and still maintain a sense of self. My daughter Autumn came on the scene when I was sure I was on the road to being a rock star. I was hell bent on making every moment an adventure whether it was traveling, meeting new people or taking more personal journeys internally with the help of a cookie or two. I have since learned that being a dad is a quest unlike any I have ever experienced. Every moment I live now no matter how mundane is a fight against mediocrity. The demons, goblins and fire breathing dragons that I battle now are fiercest when I am most fatigued. Only a dad can know how tough it is to help a child with her homework after a long day’s work when all he wants to do is crack open a cold one and watch T.V. In fact, I’m STILL working on that one! Lucky for me we have a DVR. Now if I could just keep the cable on everything will be golden. And if not, it’s just news.